This summer my creative life was starting to bog down in my work as a home health aide so I decided to challenge myself and take a risk to perform a dance in public.
This dance piece is my first public performance ever. It's a dance piece that I perform with a young dancer, Ella Mahler. I had the privilege of working with Pam Kuntz, a senior dance instructor at Western Washington University, who choreographed the dance. This is the sixth piece that Pam has created with community members telling their stories with dancers.
This performance is about health. She had community members write out a Neighborhood Health Map. I wasn't sure what she wanted, so I composed a simple one like a wheel with me in the center and the spokes radiating out with my health care providers and activities such as yoga and walking and eating good food that I do to keep healthy. Then I talked with Pam and Richard Scholtz who has been initiated the health mapping project, to explain my map. Pam chose to create my dance piece around the care providing that I do for work. But as we worked on the piece, I realized that I have been a caregiver most of my life, and since my daughter turned sixteen, she's been moving away from me, so I am ready to move out of the care giving role and wanted the piece to represent that change. So instead of ending the piece entwined, Pam agreed to end the piece with Ella and I walking away as equals.
The first time I saw anyone else's piece was at the technical rehearsal. It was also the first time I performed the piece in front of anyone else other than Richard and Spencer who didn't count because they were working on the sound. Oh, and although they chose the ambient sound of sheep bells tha Richard recorded in Paraguay, they sound like cow bells. I asked for a picture of sheep flashed on the screen so people wouldn't get a bovine image in their head, but I was overruled, or ignored. Now I am able to ignore the sound.
At the tech rehearsal I felt awkward and out of place in the new space. We are performing at The Firehouse, an actual old firehouse that was remodeled with loving care by a dancer into a performing space. But, yow, the lights were too bright and made it uncomfortable to dance in. And I didn't know most of the other performers and some of their pieces were too long and I kept thinking, what have I gotten myself into ?
The lights were were toned down for the dress rehearsal. I concentrated on Ella. Ah, for the young, agile mind and body. I depend on her to remember the piece and sometimes to guide me to the next move.
Last weekend we opened the show. We've gotten lots of positive publicity. The Bellingham community is very supportive of Pam's pieces and this piece has several well known Bellinghamsters performing, including ex-Mayor Mark and a couple of popular folk singer activists so it has been well attended. I've been too stressed until today to really enjoy performing. Thursday I actually made an appointment with an accupunturist because I was so physically so uncomfortable. But this weekend I received several compliments. Today Pam asked me if I realized how good my piece was? I don't, some of the other pieces are so much more energetic and upbeat. And Warren, Warren is a perceptive, remarkable eight year old. How does one follow an cute, pixie-like child? I sit next to him and he has relieved some of my tension though. I answer his questions - like why is that woman taking off her clothes? Me - because she is too hot. Why is everyone being rude and whispering? Me - because we have lines to say, we'll get you a line. Now he remembers his line on cue and I have no idea what I'm to say, except cup is in the phrase.
My sixteen-year old came to last night's performance and afterward she came up and threw her arms around me and told me she liked the dances. She thought I was good ! I was worried that she would just think it odd and be embarrassed. And after today's performance, a friend rushed back stage, threw her arms around me and told me I was wonderful ! What an amazing gift. I'm beginning to believe it's good.
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